


please never shut up

by sleepypaladiknight



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Hugs, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Not too angsty just a little sad, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Kisses, Snuggly Leopika is what got me through the week bro, Soft Leorio, They make me so weak, They’re just warm and happy in each other’s arms okay, soft kurapika
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:26:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26656597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepypaladiknight/pseuds/sleepypaladiknight
Summary: A small chuckle, but sincere and unbearably kind. “Never tried hugging it out?”Kurapika sighs indignantly, too tired to properly protest. “Of course not.”“Do you want to? Sounds like you might need it.”Kurapika sinks into the mattress, and hopes it might claim him. Feeling embarrassed and warm, and not at all opposed to the tempting offer, he responds after another moment of silence, “Perhaps I do.”Or, when actions speak louder than words.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 31
Kudos: 290





	please never shut up

**Author's Note:**

> The thought of leopika was the only thing keeping me sane this week- 😢💝 I love them, I want them to be happy, and they deserve better.

On the scarce nights he could spare himself some sleep- most of which were at Leorio’s, he spent quite some time thinking. When the world finally fell quiet and he was generously handed some peace by the universe that so loved to make a joke out of his life, his thoughts finally got the chance to speak louder, and he’d rummage around for the deepest ones, bringing their voices to the surface to dwell on a little more. Then he’d do some mental house cleaning.

Rearrange and sort his thoughts, linger on a few and let some go- then store it all away again in some crevice at the back of his mind so that he can make space for the all-consuming, deafening darkness that came with his job. 

Those thoughts regaled him with plans, plots, schemes and bullet sizes, the names of guns, the various surnames that he’d personally cross out in red, limited hours and wild goose chases, towering city buildings and underground labyrinths, the weight of glinting chains snaked around subtly trembling fingers, and the feeling of jars beneath his hands- two red glows right beyond the layer of glass almost burning into his skin.

They’d mock memories filled with warm sunlight filtering through verdant leaves, familiar faces and familiar tongue, piko races, humidity escorting sweat down his skin, and then follow with the crushing, overwhelming, stifling and choking feeling of betrayal, the sight of hollow eyes and greedy hands holding above their heads his family like trophies.

But for now, it’s just Leorio.

It’s warm, rumpled beds, hastily stacked medical books, and gentle, steady breathing.

He stared blankly up at the ceiling, feeling empty and occupied all at the same time. A small breath that escaped just a little too loud drew a stir out of the blankets right next to him. A sleepy grunt, and a large hand felt around until it landed on Kurapika’s side, patting twice, then slipping away after ensuring he was there.

“‘Can hear ya thinking.” Leorio’s voice was almost a low growl from grogginess, thick with sleep. If Kurapika blushes, not even the universe takes notice. “Whassup?” He asked, as straightforward as ever.

Kurapika did not remove his eyes from the ceiling. “You already know.”

“‘Guess I do.” He agreed, and they fell into silence once more.

They both laid there, buried under blankets and staring straight up at the ceiling, as if it would have the answers to their countless woes and worries. After a few moments, they gave up searching there, and decided to seek it in each other.

“You can talk to me, if you wanna.”

“I’ve burdened you enough. Regardless, I don’t want to talk.” His voice is soft, almost shy in confession. “Talking... Doesn’t do much anymore.”

“Not that you ever did much talking to begin with,” Leorio rolls his eyes. “So what will? Staying up like this just brooding isn’t good y’know.”

“I don’t know. And it’s not brooding.” Kurapika scoffed gently. “Just thinking, quietly organizing my thoughts, is already enough.”

“But that’s kinda like bottling it up, isn’t it? You’re not really releasing anything.” Leorio points out, genuine concern entwined in his soothing tone.

Kurapika pauses. “I suppose. But my voice is hoarse from yelling and I’ve run out of words to release.”

“Who said you had to talk? There are other ways, you know.”

He favors silence instead of an answer.

A small chuckle, but sincere and unbearably kind. “Never tried hugging it out?”

Kurapika sighs indignantly, too tired to properly protest. “Of course not.”

“Do you want to? Sounds like you might need it.”

Kurapika sinks into the mattress, and hopes it might claim him. Feeling embarrassed and warm, and not at all opposed to the tempting offer, he responds after another moment of silence, “Perhaps I do.”

There’s a pause, as if the world had stopped spinning to accommodate this one, single moment. Then he hears a shift and a rustle from his side as Leorio turns over to face him, and his mind begins to overflow, giddily pushing aside the angstier thoughts for the comfy, flustering ones that began to bloom the moment he stepped into Leorio’s home. Stubbornly, he continues to stare up at the ceiling in the hopes of calming them down, stamping down the buds lest they flourish into something uncontrollable; an overgrowth that would overtake everything in his head, and prevent him from ever stepping out from under Leorio’s roof ever again.

A finger taps on his shoulder. “Might wanna turn over for this.”

And Kurapika obliges, slowly shuffling, blankets churning, to face Leorio with a hesitant gaze.

The soft, tender little thoughts grow faster, grow louder the moment the brunette’s handsome face comes into clear view. Sleepy, slightly lidded chocolate eyes that still managed to brim with an aching gentleness and emotion, the ghost of a smile quirking at his lips, lightly bronzed skin that held the faintest hints of stubble, and it all felt dizzying, head spinning with- 

“Peeks, why do you have to think so loud,” he whined softly, “Shuddup and get over here, I’ll go numb.”

Leorio’s arms were already outstretched as much as they could with the little space between them, palms open and gesturing him over. And tentatively, like a critter being coaxed towards shelter and security, Kurapika inches forward, lifting himself into the warmth of Leorio’s arms- head resting on a bicep. For a little, he’s stiff and awkward, keeping his hands tight towards himself, and hyperaware of the gentle puffs of breath from Leorio’s lips, the generous closeup of his sharp jawline and bobbing Adam’s apple, the ghosting fingers that traced up his back feeling just as unsure as he was.

But they close in at last, clasping him close behind his head and back. Kurapika urges himself to calm, letting out a quiet, shuddering exhale and relaxing his shoulders.

The moment he allows himself to settle, comfort seeps in and invitingly washes over his body, an addicting envelope of happiness that starkly contrasted to the frigid indifference and loathing that had consumed him hours prior. He practically melts into Leorio’s hold, the brunette’s arms adjusting and wrapping tighter around his smaller frame after sensing his contentment.

“Feeling better?”

He nods.

They quieted again. It was when there was nothing said that Kurapika could hear the most, and the touches began to grow a voice of their own. 

They didn’t need to speak to talk to one another; perhaps it was a product of their friendship, where little was exchanged and all Leorio could cling to were bare messages and subtle glances when they did meet on occasion, where he was forced to read and feel and look harder- search for the little signals Kurapika gave hesitantly away- in order to communicate.

Kurapika felt guilty.

But it was interrupted by the comforting lean of Leorio’s head towards his own, _are you okay?_ and the beginnings of a slow rub over his back, _I’ll make you okay. Let me make you feel alright._

Gently, he meets Leorio’s forehead with his own, _I’m just tired._ And the small tremble in his shoulders, _so, so tired,_ as Leorio’s hand finds a rhythm on his back. One of Kurapika’s own slowly, shyly reaches up to curl around Leorio’s waist, _you make me feel okay,_ and his eyes shut, almost tight and stinging; _that’s why I can’t stay._

One especially firm rub. _Yes, you can._

An especially firm tug on the cloth of Leorio’s shirt. _No, I can’t._

_Okay, I understand,_ the soothing stroke through his hair said. _But you know you could if you wanted. Always free to._ The inviting pets on his back continued, as if trying to convince him.

_But I have so much to do._ Arms tightening.

_That’s okay. I’ll wait._ The hands were still gentle.

_You’re hurting._

_I am, but that’s okay._

_I’m sorry._

_Don’t be._

_I have to focus._

_I know._

_You make me want to abandon it all._

_I rather you did._

_I can’t._

_I know._

_You deserve better._

_So do you._

_Soon. It will be soon._ He promises with an affectionate press of his nose to the crook of his neck.

Leorio cradles him closer, tucking his head in and tracing circles along his back with his palm. _Good._

For a long time- for they didn’t bother to count the minutes or hours- they simply passed message after message, exchanging their worries and offering each other the comfort and safety they both had gone long without. Eventually, the conversation died down, and they simply relished the other’s hold, idle but immeasurably comfortable and contented.

Kurapika doesn’t register it as he slowly lifts himself away from the junction of Leorio’s shoulder and tilts his head up, eyes scanning the every little detail that reeled in his affections. The churning scarlet hints in his eyes met the dark, chestnut of Leorio’s, fierce and determined yet gentle and modest all the same.

_Hey there,_ Leorio seems to tease as he brings his head closer.

_Hello._ Kurapika greets back, raising his head slowly, subtly. They’re nose to nose, now.

And then their lips met in a soft, tentative brush- a small question, an _is this okay?_ Immediately it was answered with a more firm press, _of course_ , and soon they were melded together in a loving, appreciative kiss.

Modest, quiet conversation became roaring, overwhelming declarations- without making a single sound at all.

Kurapika lifted his hand to smooth over the stubble along Leorio’s jawline, and Leorio’s own tangled into golden, moonlit locks as they gently beckoned their bodies closer together, every mere point of contact delivering a loud, blaring message- _I love you, don’t leave me, I don’t want to leave, stay with me, I want to, closer, warmer._

They stay like that for a little while longer, softly and slowly chasing after each other’s touches in the dim of night. Then Leorio nips at his bottom lip, drawing out a clipped exhale from the blond, and halting the affectionate exchange.

“We should sleep.”

Kurapika nods, hoping he doesn’t look a little disappointed. “Leorio-“

The saint of a man shakes his head reassuringly, hand reaching to run slowly through Kurapika’s hair and his head craning down to settle and bury into the golden locks- which smelled less like metal and unspoken sins and more like his bed and shampoo, much to his delight. “We don’t have to talk about it now. I don’t wanna add anything to your plate so-“ he leans down, pressing a ticklish kiss to the blond’s forehead. “I’ll wait until you’re done. Until you can come back properly.”

Kurapika sighs contentedly, tucking his face into the crook of Leorio’s neck. “Okay.” He whispers, eyes fluttering as they watched the calm rise and fall of Leorio’s chest.

“You’d better damn remember,” Leorio mumbles sleepily into his hair, “that we’ve been waiting for you, that we care about you, peeks.”

“I know.”

“Come back home to us.”

“I...”

“Come back home to me. And stay.”

And his chest aches, an unforgiving pang that dredges up the desperation and longing and guilt and love that had long since clambered down from his thoughts and sat to fester in his heart. His eyes flitter shut, tight as he presses himself as close to the man almost dwindling off to sleep as possible. The slight tightening in his grip on Leorio’s crumpled sleep shirt was apparently answer enough to Leorio’s plead- the brunette was familiar with his language by now, after all- and Kurapika could feel the bittersweet smile in the kiss upon his head. They settle, fitted perfectly into each other, and with nothing else to say.. At least, for now.

When sleepy silence replaces conversation, Kurapika soaks in the comfort because he knows that by the next morning, it’ll be gone. He’ll have to let go of the crumpled white dress shirt grounding him to Earth, untangle himself from gangly legs in sweatpants, inhale air that’s not clouded with faint traces of cheap cologne and heavier hints of sterility, tear his gaze away from the pillow creases engraved into sunkissed cheeks, abandon the lithe fingers combing against his scalp, and slip away from the lips pressed gently to the golden crown of his head; he’ll have to leave Leorio and his touches that spoke louder than any word.

The thought was upsetting. It reminded him of the exhaustion weighing down on his bones, dragging his movements with every passing day and every hour etched away from his lifespan. But that was for later. The comfort of now was happier, and to be frank, far better than entertaining any other thought.

The moment Leorio tapers off into slumber, Kurapika follows suit.

And when he wakes up, he indulges himself for another moment, breathing in the sleepiness of morning and relishing the touch warmly enveloping him- the ghosts of the messages Leorio left on his skin reminded him kindly of promise and home- before neatly slipping away, regret and longing heavy in his limbs. But he brushes himself off, writes a small note, and quickly escorts himself out the door.

Every thought successfully organized and stored away- every emotion quelled and soothed- all except for one, loud and bold and wearing a heart on its sleeve.

_Come back home to me._

* * *

Leorio stood at the kitchen counter, eyes sad and longing as they swept over the sticky note- wrinkled at the edge from a quick rip from the stack- blessed with Kurapika’s hasty but twirly penmanship.

_I will be home soon._

_\- Kurapika_

* * *

He wakes up slowly and smoothly, an easy shift from the grip of sleep to the waking world. Blond lashes blink the grogginess and blur out of his eyes, and a feeble yawn leaves his lips. Too cozy in the strong, warm arms laced around him to move, so he stays.

“You awake?” A low voice leaves warm breath against his neck.

Porcelain meets light cocoa as their hands intertwine, squeezing a response into the skin. “Yes, and you?”

“Mmm, can’t tell- you’re like a dream, pika, I swear.” Chuckles his lover behind him, nuzzling delightedly into his neck and tilting his head to press slightly chapped lips against it.

“You’re oddly affectionate this morning.” Kurapika teases, leaning back into the kisses that began peppering down his neck and over the exposed shoulder his lazy blouse left vulnerable.

“Don’t mind me,” sighs Leorio, as the lips stop their quest and Kurapika shifts to lay on his back, and he settles his head to rest on Kurapika’s small chest. “It just... doesn’t feel real.”

“I would know.”

“Unbelievable just how comfy you are. I feel at home here.”

Kurapika softens, heart fluttering with the full force of his love and utter adoration for the man. He cards fondly through the short, dark chocolate hair, fingers lightly massaging Leorio’s scalp. Then they lay there, simply petting.

“Like you wouldn’t imagine.” Kurapika confesses. “I’m thankful you’re such a loud man.”

A single, playful swat to his thigh. “What’s that s’posed to mean, ya brat?”

He laughs softly, feeling lighter than he’s ever felt. “Hush, I don’t mean it like that. Just,” he exhales gently. “You are a very loud man. In more ways than one.”

“That’s not any better- try again sunshine, you’re hurting me here.”

The gentle, soft kiss Kurapika presses to his head- _thank you, I love you, I owe my life to you, you are everything to me, thank you so much, you have saved me, you are my home, you brought me home_ \- was loud enough, answer enough for Leorio to quiet, and perhaps press a kiss of his own to those same lips.   
  


“Please never shut up.”

And Leorio laughs because he knows.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry to everyone waiting on Hypocrite!!! I promise another chapter will be up soon!! I’ve been busy with class, but as soon as I get some better free time where my brain is not fried, I will get it out!!! I love you guys, and your support gets me through so much!!! Thank you!!! 💝💝💝💝


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